pre-natcon

At the first day of pre-natcon, i kept silent almost whole day. I don't even dare to speak because everybody surround me all spoke english, not because of them are fierce, is because i not familiar to the environment with english.I found that it was difficult for me to speak english. I felt that i am not the one of them, it's all because i am shy, i felt i am useless, and low self-esteem because i felt that i am unable to speak english with all of them. So, i chose to kept silent all the time. At the interview part, i think i was the only person who finish the interview not more than 5 minutes. I answer what i know, and i answer the questions very directly. I straight answer i don't know for the question i really don't know. At night, during I HAVE A DREAM session, is the first sharing session that i had after i joined AIESEC. Actually, i had make a dream to myself. I wish i could be able to speak english fluently with all of my friends. As Nicholas said, we need to have a first step to step forward to reach our goal. We need to take the initial step to enrich our dream. But, unfortunately, i was still continue to being a dumb person at the last session of the first day of pre-natcon. A very sad case...

Second day of pre-natcon, still a very case for me. During the discussion, i was still a dumb person. Just giving idea of the project and thinking the way to organize project, i also cannot speak. My brain was totally blank. Maybe i gave too much stress n pressure to myself. It made me nervous and want to evade from the discussion. Maybe i not yet ready for all of it. Or maybe i was still naive, can't receive the fact that i am going to face soon in such short period. I was scared. Luckily, there was a game started by Wiliam to let all of us have fun. Although it is a very naive game, it brought a lot of fun. It helps me to release stress and pressure. At the same time, i totally forget the worry just now in the discussion. During the program of the second day of pre-natcon, i had learn how to send email in more effective way, knew myself more, how to make a attractive presentation, and lastly get know more about the department that had been divided by Amanda in AIESEC. I am happy to get the department that i chose.